Love ad Logic for Parents
- Turning Scholars Into Leaders
- May 31, 2024
- 2 min read
Key Principles of Love and Logic:
Empathy Before Consequences:
Always start with empathy. This helps children feel understood and valued, which makes them more open to learning from their mistakes.
Example: “I’m so sorry you forgot your homework. That must be really frustrating.”
Shared Control:
Offer choices within limits to give children a sense of control. This helps reduce power struggles and encourages children to think critically.
Example: “Would you like to do your homework before or after dinner?”
Problem Ownership:
Allow children to own their problems and experience natural consequences. This teaches responsibility and problem-solving skills.
Example: If a child forgets their lunch, they experience hunger and are more likely to remember it next time.
Neutralizing Arguments:
Avoid power struggles by staying calm and neutralizing arguments with simple, empathetic responses.
Example: When a child argues about a rule, respond with, “I love you too much to argue,” and then disengage from the argument.
Logical Consequences:
Use consequences that are logically related to the misbehavior, helping children understand the connection between their actions and the outcomes.
Example: If a child breaks a toy by being careless, they might need to use their allowance to buy a new one.
Modeling Respectful Behavior:
Show respect in all interactions, demonstrating the behavior you want to see in your children.
Example: Speak to your child with the same respect you would expect from them, even when setting boundaries or enforcing rules.
Practical Techniques:
Enforceable Statements:
Use enforceable statements to set limits you can control.
Example: Instead of saying, “You must do your homework,” say, “You can use the computer as soon as your homework is done.”
Choices Within Limits:
Provide choices to empower children while maintaining necessary boundaries.
Example: “Would you like to wear your red shirt or your blue shirt today?”
Delayed Consequences:
Give yourself time to think and respond effectively rather than reacting impulsively.
Example: “I’m going to have to do something about this. I’ll let you know what that is later.”
Addressing Common Issues:
Tantrums:
Stay calm and use empathy. "I see you're really upset right now. When you're ready to talk about it, I’m here."
Homework Battles:
Offer choices and allow natural consequences. "Would you like to do your homework right after school or after a short break?"
Chores:
Make chores a choice. "Would you prefer to help with the dishes or take out the trash?"
By consistently applying these principles and techniques, parents can create a loving environment where children feel valued and understood, while also learning important life skills like responsibility, problem-solving, and self-discipline. Remember, the goal of Love and Logic is to raise children who are prepared to handle the challenges of life with confidence and resilience.
Comments